Time for a New Word – Kanreki

Living a Long Time

Recently, I chatted for a short time with a woman from Malaysia who just turned 60. She mentioned that she had entered the Warga Emas Era. I wondered what that meant. I discovered that it seems to entail an active and healthy societal approach to ageing from age 60 onwards.

It made me think of my post-60 Japanese friends, who are exceptionally active, social, and full of vitality and good humour. I went looking and found the word “kanreki.”

Kanreki – Life Starts Again at 60!

“This milestone is seen as a moment of rebirth in Japan because the zodiac returns to the same sign as the year you were born. Traditionally, kanreki is celebrated with a meal hosted by the person’s family. The birthday person wears an article of red clothing to indicate a fresh new start. Red is both a celebratory color and a reference to childhood. Hence the idea of rebirth at 60.”

I have loved watching my Japanese friends hiking mountains in colourful helmets and clothing, enjoying dining at the communal table after a day of climbing, and visiting shrines, along with the hilarity and fun-loving antics that they all seem to enjoy. And, I might add, with an additional reflective element, which I think many of us experience as we live longer.

Exhuberant Aging

I like the similar idea, in our culture, of exuberant aging,

One of the misconceptions about older people, according to Regina Koepp, clinical psychologist and founder of the Center for Mental Health and Aging in Burlington, Vt., is that “they’re rigid and they’ll never change,” she said. “That’s not true. Older people are not more rigid than younger people. Those are personality traits, not age traits.” Yet even older adults have internalized this narrative, Dr. Koepp said, “because they’ve heard it their whole life.”

To age exuberantly, you must actively recognize your “internalized ageism” and fight against it, Dr. Koepp said. Saying “yes” as often as you can, she added, “is in effect saying ‘yes’ to life — being curious and exploratory, being part of the community.”

That term struck me: internalized ageism.

I suspect it is true for some due to conditioning and a lack of awareness. Furthermore, Regina Koepp suggests that we need to fight against it. I wonder how many other internalized isms we have and how they impact our lives. My Mother also reminded us not to use age as an excuse. “Don’t say, “I am too old for that.”

What I notice

The longer I live, the more I notice that people in my life are not subjecting themselves to internalized ageism. I was thinking about all the over-60, 70, 80, and 90-year-olds I know who are taking courses in art, writing, woodworking, academics, music, exercise, hiking, travelling, and attending concerts alone and with friends. Their adventures continue. The only thing that has changed is that they have more time to do many life-giving things, including volunteering.

First Book at 92

One of the wonderful people I know began writing children’s stories in her 90s. You can click on this link in the Ottawa Citizen to meet Sheila Baslaw and peek at her excellent book, The Light Keeper, which is perfectly illustrated, I might add. I have a copy, and I love it—I’m looking forward to the next one, and in the meantime, this will be a favourite gift for others. (available on Amazon and independent bookstores)

Counter-Intuitive

(These two are 93 and 97, and earlier that day, they had walked 10k in the Bluenose Marathon in Halifax – my paternal Aunt Ruth, who is now 100 and a bit (still kicking up her heels), and my Mother, who died four years ago at 100 and a bit)

Health challenges appear due to living a long time, but that doesn’t seem to distract from the joy, meaning, and purpose in the lives of the many acquaintances, family, and friends I know. furthermore, contrary to the stereotypes: “Polls of people…in 149 countries reveal a startling pattern…As they aged, older adults rated their life satisfaction progressively higher, with happiness rating rising gradually and steadily from age 50 through the decade of the 90s.”

According to aging expert Laura Carstensen  “research shows over and over that older people are happier than the twenty-somethings who are assumed to be in the prime of life.” (You can read the article here in Psychology Today)

Coffee

This morning, I had coffee with my friend Janice, both of us in our late 70s. We are surprised, in a way, that age doesn’t enter into our daily lives. There are things we choose to do no longer, but there are other things we do instead. We both experience, like many that we know, a sense of gratitude every morning when we wake up. And so many reasons to want to get up.

It is incredible to recognize mortality—how brief it all is—and still be here to enjoy the new, fresh moments that keep arriving. Amazingly, we can choose how to use these new moments.

First snow

As the first snowflakes fell from the sky today, I recalled my childhood happiness that “finally it is snowing.” Now, I love the beauty of the first snowfall, and I don’t need it to last. Of course, that is 100 percent out of my control, so I strive to do my best to coexist with it for the next four months and find cozy things to do, primarily saved for the winter. (I confess they are mostly indoors)

I will leave you now with a quote from James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.

“Today is a great opportunity, no matter your age. Looking back in a few years, today will seem like the time when you were young and full of potential or the moment when you could have started early or the turning point when you made a choice that benefited your future.

The moment in front of you right now is a good one. Make the most of it.”

Notes

1:) A gentle song in Spanish Gracias a la Vida. It means Thanks to Life and is a litany of appreciation from the stars to the alphabet, to feet for walking, to laughter and tears, and so much more.

2:) I hope you can celebrate this December month in whatever ways your old or new traditions suit you. I like the small sparkling lights, larger multicoloured lights, boughs and pine cones, trees, candles, cookies, fireplaces and friendly people. And I mostly like snow in December.

3:) Thank you for stopping by. I send my best wishes for courage, strength, resilience, purpose, and moments of laughter, love, and joy. With appreciation, always, Trudy