Rush Slowly – a reminder

This is an updated repost of a previous blog published right around this time of year. I always need a reminder myself and maybe you do too.

No rushing

After many decades of living, I now aim to reclaim the spirit of “no rushing.” To become more like my Grandmother who worked hard every day but seemed like the one who was not busy. How did she do that, I wondered. She, who had no modern conveniences, prepared all of her own food, after planting, weeding, harvesting, and canning the fruits of her labour, still had time to entertain her grandchildren with rollicking stories of the “olden days,” as she finished knitting another pair of socks or crocheting a new runner for the hall table.

I don’t believe in unnecessary comparisons. Times are different now, and I get that. We don’t organize our lives by the seasons or the setting sun anymore. However, I do believe there is wisdom to be learned, through the experience of those who have gone before us. And I now believe that my Grandmother gave herself wholeheartedly to whatever she was doing, in the circumstances in which she found herself, and as simple as those tasks may seem,  her life had meaning.

Present Moment

In other words, when she was picking wild strawberries, she wasn’t wishing to be doing something else. She didn’t expend energy wishing things were different than they were.  She had no notion that life should be easier or that it should be designed to make her happy. It seems to me in retrospect her main purpose, beyond providing the basics, was to make sure she was adding to the joy, beauty, and happiness of those who were in her circle of influence. And lending a hand whenever she could.

I am a busy person, with many things I want to finish while I can, and I have a wealth of interests. All the books I want to read will not get read. Nor, will I finish all of my tasks. We don’t know how long we will be around. When my expiry date arrives, I will leave unfinished business behind. What I know is that I want to do what I can do now, without being frantic and without demanding the impossible of myself in the way I use to do. I want the people in my life to know that I have time for them in the here and now. I want to have time to moodle.

Experiment

I am experimenting, especially since my own energy is at a low ebb and November is past the halfway mark. Perhaps you would like to consider designing your own experiment.

• What are three special/ordinary things that need to be done today?
• Write my blog
• Attend an online birthday celebration
• Take Rowan to Spirit of Math
• Find beauty in the dark (Rob’s banner photo today)

Note to self

Perfection is an idea and a myth, and can keep us from doing something we would love to do, for fear that we can’t measure up. In order to write my blog tonight, I have to let go of the creation and find something I already did at this time of year that helped me and others.

Do less of everything. Let go of FOMO. We all miss out on all kinds of things, and that’s life.

 
Freedom from Ourselves

In the meantime, when we can start letting go of our own self-imposed constraints and open up to the wonder that is this moment and can still do something for others and for ourselves, we are free. We are free to love and laugh and wholeheartedly engage with life on our terms and in the manner within which we find ourselves now: free to make mistakes and start over. Time to learn new dance steps.

Fighting with what we cannot have and regretting what we cannot change adds to our suffering and angst. Living, fully living, and giving our time to what we can do now, gives us unparalleled freedom to flourish in this moment. And guess what, when we stop doing so many things out of habit and custom, we are free to do more of the things we love without rushing. Freedom indeed.

Notes

Note 1) We are now in the latter part of November. The last two months of the year are busy. Let’s not criticize ourselves and beat ourselves up for all that we couldn’t do. “No throwing sticks at your heart,” as the poet Hafiz writes. Make time for joyful moments.

Note 2) Thanks to Patricia Ryan Madson for her watercolour postcard called Just Show up. I appreciate the access she has given me to her delightful small paintings. Likewise, to Gottfried and Rob, whose photography I frequently use and don’t always give them credit. Thanks, Rob, for today’s evening glow on the Fraser River in Vancouver

Note 3) As I write these posts, I am aware that I don’t know the circumstances of each reader. I do know that the world is trustworthy, even when it seems like it is falling apart. Any suggestions I ever make or imply are done with the complete understanding that you know best what you need to do. Take what you want and discard the rest. My very best wishes to everyone here. Thanks for reading these musings. See you next week, Trudy