Patient – a word that perhaps could use a tweak

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The Patient

The word “patient” originates from the Latin word “patiens,” meaning “one who suffers” or “endures,” derived from the verb “patior” which means “to suffer” or “to endure”. 

This word could use an update, don’t you think? What that new word might look like, however, fails me at this point. When I started this update, (four days ago) I wasn’t thinking of the etymology of “patient” rather I was thinking about the beneficial aspects of patience. It was only when I wrote the word in the title that I realized I had been ‘the patient’ for the last couple of days at the hospital, where I was cared for spectacularly. Both skilfully and kindly.

It got me thinking, once again, about language and its consequences. The word patient can be used as both an adjective (meaning “enduring” or “having the ability to endure”) and a noun (referring to a person under medical care). It can also instruct us in the virtue of waiting.

The slippery slope of the word, however,  can imply passivity. At Wellspring, the Cancer Resource Centre, I am connected to, we don’t use that word. Rather, people who come to use all of our excellent free resources are members. And many of you know that the maxim of Living Well with Illness is ” Even though I am ill, I won’t live like a sick person.” Dr. Jinroh Itami

This doesn’t mean denial

Rather, it means I won’t let my illness dominate every waking hour. We are people with many hats, and we don’t want to stop wearing them. Obviously, we need to adjust our hats for the circumstances, but we won’t tuck them all away until some future unknown date when all will be well again. It is so important not to take a passive stance and put our lives on hold.
The first guideline in my program is to play an active role in our own illness and treatment. In truth, this idea is now very much promoted in medicine itself. The research shows the benefits for those who learn about their illness, engage with their medical team, and get involved in the non-medical things we can do to help us.
Although there are no guarantees, there are many things we can do to improve the quality of our everyday lives—things that are health-promoting and enjoyable.

Patience

Now let’s talk about patience, which was my real purpose today. Patience is not, in my books, being passive. I see patience as a way to acknowledge things as they are and actively wait for whatever time it takes. I like the way Buddhists describe patience: “developing forbearance and equanimity in the face of adversity.
For instance, I have restrictions on my daily life for the first two weeks. After that, for the next four weeks, I steadily get reprieves, slowly building up my strength and flexibility so that by six weeks, when I leave for Calgary, I will be strong and healthy. It is especially challenging to stick to the two-week plan, but I have been advised to do so in order to allow for a full recovery down the road.
While I practice patience, I still get to do many other wonderful things. Take walking: I get to walk, but the suggestion is four or five 10-minute walks rather than one longer one each day. I get to sit/recline and write for short periods, with lots of breaks to get water, stretch my legs, etc. This ties in well with my 12-minute creativity practice that I did in February/March.

Finally

Despite my fuzzy brain, I finally get to the story I want to tell you, which inspires me every day. After my previous blog post on saltogenesis, I received an email from a reader who had recently subscribed to my blog. She is 93, lives fully with limitations and generously writes to me after each post. This last email touched me profoundly, and with her permission, I will relay what she said.

Salutogenesis – A new word to me too.

But something that I have been familiar with for the last 50 years.
I had surgery on both of my hands at the same time and it took forever to heal.
I was sent to a specialist in Victoria and while I waited, I admired the photographs in his office.
After I was called into his office and a thorough examination, he wrote a prescription.
When I looked at it, I had a pretty dumb look on my face.
It said.
Go to the bookstore, Buy a book by the name of PHOTOGRAPHY FOR THE JOY OF IT.
That was his way of saying you have to be patient for many more months. You like the photos in my office. So obviously, you have an eye for it.
I did not even have a camera. A friend lent me their’s And I started out. That was 50 years ago and it became a lifestyle and a joy.
Even now as limited as I am, I still find ways to capture nature.
I learned to find  Joy, Beauty and Miracles everywhere.
I live with a richness of experiences and living that brings me so much joy.
Salutogenesis – what a terrific word.
This small story is such an example of active acceptance – and an acknowledgement of how things are. And most of all it is a lesson in how to use the flashlight of our attention to spot something that interests us and put it into action, making it part of daily living.
The other part of this story, which is so encouraging, is her physician. His attention to a “patient” where he took notice of her interest is noteworthy and that he wrote her such an unusual non-medical prescription that in many ways changed her life. A toast to him and to her for following through.
Now, that physician is rare. However, we can be our own prescribers. We can use the flashlight of our attention, shine it around to see what attracts us. Let’s pay attention to what we notice and invite ourselves to bring it into our daily life.
As it happened, I have that book and it is a favourite – written by Freeman Patterson, a well-known Canadian photographer from New Brunswick.

Notes

1:) Clearly, I’m not done with the word “patient” but I am done with it for now.  Thanks for muddling along with me.

2:) My biggest thanks to the dear reader who took the time to tell me her story and allowed me to tell you. I am deeply grateful.

3:) As of last night, I am back in my own place and recovering steadily. As always, I am grateful for all those who have helped me get back on the road to good health, and recovery and for all the good wishes I received. Special thanks to my medical team and to my daughter and her team.

4:) May we all have what we need as we make our way along the narrow ridge. Let’s keep our eyes peeled for the handholds, the beauty, the wonder and the kindness that arrive unexpectedly around the corner. Thank you for being here. Your company is greatly appreciated. Warmest and best wishes, Trudy

18 replies
  1. Carol Ingells
    Carol Ingells says:

    I’m glad your surgery went well and that you are being obedient to recovery instructions. It’s so hard to be “patient”. Many blessings to you, Trudy.

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thank you Carol. I think of you often and send all my best wishes your way. Strength to you! Take heart! Trudy

  2. Sue+Fitzwilson
    Sue+Fitzwilson says:

    Thinking of you Trudy. Here’s to a speedy recovery with lots of wonderful things to distract you.

  3. Gottfried
    Gottfried says:

    Ahh, Trudy, what an excellent and useful post. Many many thanks, together with a special thanks to your 93 year old fan for allowing you to pass this on; delightful!
    And, btw, I’m patiently waiting for the reports ..:)

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thank you Gottfried. Reports are all good. I am in full renewal just like the spring flowers.
      All the best, Trudy

  4. Sabine
    Sabine says:

    🙂 Thank you Trudy, for introducing such a wonderful story of patience, a patient and a rare physician:-) AND great to read that your surgery went well and you are recovering – sending you all my thoughts and inner support. With love Sabine

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thank you dear Sabine for your kind and thoughtful note. All is trending in the right direction. All the best to you, Trudy

  5. Perri Blaze Ardman
    Perri Blaze Ardman says:

    hello Trudy, thank you for this essay on patient/patience. I would like a new word for a person under medical care. The word “patient” implies a hierarchy between the caregiver or provider, and the one receiving the care.
    I would like to see some equality here because the one receiving the care is an active participant in the treatment and care and has knowledge and add “smarts” that the provider does not always have. Together they are a team. I don’t have a new word for “patient.” Many mental health providers call them clients, but I don’t know if this is really any better. Thank you for allowing me to express this. Much love and gratitude for the teams that are assisting in your recovery. May it continue with ease.

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thank you dear Blaze for this thoughtful comment. It is a topic worthy of more discussion. I have had the best of help and encouragement and from you too. With appreciation and sending all good wishes for your steady recovery.All the best, Trudy

  6. Janice+Falls
    Janice+Falls says:

    Dear Trudy, you are an exemplar of Living Well with Illness!! Terrific story about salutogenisis, so many inspiring people in this world, yourself being my favourite one 🙂
    May you continue to heal with joy. xoxox

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thanks dear Janice. I think you are now on the west coast and enjoying all those blossoms. Have a great time. All the best, Trudy

  7. Wendy Rudnicki
    Wendy Rudnicki says:

    Thank you, Trudy, for sharing about your self-care and patience. I’m happy to hear everything went well with your surgery, and glad that you are continuing to share your journey. I love what your reader shared. Learning to “find joy, beauty and miracles everywhere” is a wonderful practice, one that your blog supports and enables for me. I’m going to print this one so I can be reminded about practicing patience.
    Love and blessings,
    Wendy

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thank you Wendy. I too love that quote. Many thanks for your thoughtful note. All the best, Trudy

  8. Connie Youmans
    Connie Youmans says:

    Dear Trudy, that’s great that your surgery was successful and that you are recovering well. I hope that you will have a speedy and complete recovery soon. Your words, and photos are always a healing balm for me.I wish for you many blessings. Take care

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thank you Connie: Not up and running but up and walking and doing well. I appreciate your thoughtful message. All the best, Trudy

  9. Dora
    Dora says:

    I love this insight—“patient” often feels one-sided, when it should reflect active participation. Your idea to tweak its meaning is refreshing and empowering. Thanks for this thought-provoking shift!

    • T Boyle
      T Boyle says:

      Thank you Dora:how kind of you to send a note. I appreciate you letting me know that you also have reservations with the word. I understand there is no ill intent in using the word – it’s just what we say. But language is powerful and words can be used not just as gifts and weapons but the arrive with implications and assumptions. “Patient” is a word we are used to and I like to think that we have outgrown it. With appreciation and best wishes, Trudy

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