Not Happening Now
Not Happening Now
There is a Zen maxim I like, “Not Happening Now.”
When things are uncertain, it is easy to create bleak scenarios for the future. And even dredge up resentments from the past. Oftentimes, these future catastrophes relate to health, ageing, family, other relationships, finances, global and domestic politics, and truly any number of heartbreaking worst-case scenarios.
In most cases, these things we imagine are not happening right now. This is where we can change our angle of view and become curious – assessing exactly what is happening now. Right this minute.
When we observe our reality, it could be in the middle of the night when we are trying to sleep or go back to sleep. Or during the day as we are trying to do anything. Anytime is a good time to haul out the flashlight of our attention that we keep under our pillow or in our back pocket. And scan our surroundings.
We might discover that we are in a warm bed; we are still alive; we are not hungry; that our fatigue that we pictured as a serious ailment or the return of disease has a dozen different explanations – one of them being that it is late at night after a busy day and our body is tired. None of the things we are worrying about are happening right now.
So, what might we do?
First, our worries and fear for our uncertain future are natural. There is lots to worry about. How we feel doesn’t need fixing. This is important so that we don’t also beat ourselves up for our worrying. No piggyback suffering.
There are a few helpful things that I have learned, yet to be clear, there is no formula or prescription that makes it all better. The flashlight of my attention, as previously mentioned, is a primary go to for me.
What we pay attention to becomes the experience of our life.
The great thing about that flashlight is that you can take it out of your pocket or from underneath your pillow and shine it around the room. You get to switch on the floodlight, for instance, and notice what is around you that works, bringing comfort, beauty, and joy to your life. Small things, perhaps, but the sum of those small things makes a life.
When we pay attention to our surroundings and activities, we learn what is helpful to us. What are you doing when you are fully absorbed into the activity – shovelling snow, skiing, walking in nature, being with friends and family, playing the piano, painting or sketching, cooking, reading, bird watching, listening to music in your car, or doing your taxes? (only kidding)
Working with Your Attention
When your interior world needs a break from the darkness, gloom, and fears of what might happen, you can ask yourself this question: is what I am paying attention to helpful right now?
Guess what? Maybe it is. Maybe you need to call your doctor, and you are failing to do so for fear of what he or she might say.
Maybe it isn’t helpful, and if that is the case we can learn to refocus and do something physical. It is easier to work with the body than the mind. Perhaps you use that mind chatter as a signal to take a walk or listen to music or call a friend. You may write a thank-you note to someone who has been helping you. If it’s the middle of the night, you might scribble down a list of your fears to deal with in the light of day. Or, as my 101-year-old aunt does, read or scribble out a poem.
This could happen dozens of times during the day, not just in the middle of the night. And you can respond just as often. Even a five-minute distraction may give reprieve. We can all learn to work with our attention as we consciously shine that light into all corners of our lives.
A Shift of Attention
We can shift our attention – shining our flashlight on the computer screen, the newspaper, our feelings of disappointment, or thoughts about the state of our health. And we can shine it on the support we receive every single day. Look at nature’s beauty, our neighbours, or the amazing fact that we woke up this morning. That is a wonderful way to start the day. The more we observe outside of ourselves with conscious attention, the more our world lights up.
Love this example
I just learned from my son about a new practice he has started at the end of his workday in Vancouver. He stops at the river park en route to home and does 10-15 minutes of birding. This is a great example of how we can shift our attention. I love it. And of course, I have one of his photographs for today’s blog. The photo is showing a heron, gadwell and wood duck.
“Notice You’re Alright Right Now.”
Coincidentally, today, I received a newsletter from Dr Rick Hanson, psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. The title of his article – “Notice You’re Alright Right Now.”
He reminds us, like the Zen maxim, that “in daily life it’s possible to access this fundamental sense of alrightness…without pretending that everything is perfect. It’s not. But in the middle of everything, you can usually see that you’re actually alright right now – this instant.”
This type of resilience gives us breathing space, don’t you think?
It is important to remind ourselves that we already have plenty of evidence in our lives that we can manage things. We are here now. So, I want to encourage all of us to do the best we can under whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. It boils down to managing the whole gamut of our humanness: sometimes with grace, imagination, purpose, laughter, and kindness, and sometimes with resignation, sadness, tears, and despair.
Getting outside and observing nature is a reliable treatment for bringing more strength. courage, creativity and joy into our daily lives. It even boosts our immune systems.
Notes:
1) This wonderful flashlight does not diminish the awfulness of situations. It does, however, balance out the seesaw so we can gain momentary relief, comfort and strength to face whatever needs facing.
2) The banner photo is a photo that looks more like a painting. It was the particular atmosphere on Gabriola Island at that moment. See if you can spot the sea lion. Thank you, Gottfried.
3) Nina Simone I Got It Bad and/or Dave Brubeck Quartet Take Five
4) Thanks for your kind comments and letters. And especially that you take the time to keep reading my musings. You all, dear readers, make my life better. Wonderful people are going through major challenges and grappling daily with what to do and how to do it. Take heart and all my best wishes, Trudy
Thank you for this, Trudy. It helps me keep this difficult time in perspective. Not happening now.Sending love and appreciation.
Dear Carol: Thank you for letting me know that my words are comforting for you. You have offered many words of comfort to others during your lifetime. Thinking of you. Take heart. Trudy
Beautiful! Sharing this.
Bug hugs!
Hi Gail: What a lovely surprise to receive your note. Thank you for your kind words and big hugs. Sending the same right back to you. Best wishes, Trudy
Always uplifting and helpful in a change of perspective. I am a big believer in staying in the moment, but I do appreciate reminders of its power from time to time. You are always a bright light, Trudy. Shine one. Terri.
Thank you dear Terri. I would say that you are never far from your flashlight. You shine it around the room no matter what is going on. All the best, Trudy
Always good to be reminded to keep my flashlight handy and watch where I point it 🙂 Love both the photos this week – yay for sea lions and herons! thanks Trudy xoxo
Thank you dear Janice. Always grateful for your thoughtful and kind consistency. As always, Trudy
Thank you for “shining a light” as a practical and inspirational way to shift our thoughts in the moment. Your comment that a collection of small things makes a life reminds me of the power of “atomic habits”.
PS I’ve looked at the banner photo multiple times and find it remarkable and astonishing that it’s a photo not a painting.
Hi dear Janice: I appreciate James Clear’s work too and get his weekly newsletter. I like him because of his practical, everyday reminders about “small things.” And like you, that photo captivated me – when I asked the photographer he said it was a unique environment with just the right light, at that moment.Thank you for your thoughtful note. Best wishes, Trudy
Thanks so much for your newsletter. It pulls me back into my humanity. Reminds me of teachers past, reminds me that media is not the best of us, not even wanting to be the best. Reminds me that people think and care and love life.
Thank you dear Janet for this lovely message. It is kind of you to send encouraging words. Best wishes, Trudy