Making Memories – Cousins and Time Outside

My Memories are made of this

Sunshine, salt air, sandy beaches, multi-generations, reunions, laughter, lobster (rolls, chowder, lasagna), scallops, wild blueberries, exploration, tall tales, exaggeration, conversations that last long into the night, sneaking off to bed, resident cousins who work tirelessly, no complaining, bird song, daisies, orange pineapple icecream cones, hot days and cool nights, amazing sleeps, and unbelievable Hospitality with a capital H.

Memories are made from these ordinary happenings that immediately transport me back to my childhood, with the added pleasure of seeing the younger people scattered across the continent come together with such enjoyment and ease in each other’s company. It’s fascinating to me how the concept of “cousins” endures across multiple generations and vast distances.

And most of this happens outside. On the dock, in the water, on the patios/decks/gazebos and walks through forest trails. And when the bugs come out, the screened-in porches are a haven. Spending time in a climate where summer arrives hot, sunny and breezy but rarely succumbs to heat waves makes all this outdoor living possible.

I feel beyond fortunate to have my cousins, especially as I read about the decline of cousins. Recently, in The Atlantic, an article caught my attention:

I found the word choice of weirdest a strange one; I think a better word, at least in my case, is eclectic. It perfectly captures that sense of beautiful variety while implying that each person brings something special and interesting to the group. (thank you Claude AI, for finding the word for my sentiments.)

One conclusion from The Atlantic article that

I relate to – In middle age and older, the cohesion of a whole family can begin to depend on the bonds between cousins. Along with siblings, cousins become the ones organizing the reunions and the Thanksgiving meals… the stewards of the family in your older years.” (meaning us too)

For me my cousins always seemed more like siblings, since I had only one sister and no brothers. Still, there are cousins that I don’t know well and yet I claim them and there is a special reognition on the rare times we see each other.

Something else I identify with from The Atlantic article is this: “A cousin might be one of the few people who understand your relatives’ eccentricities, virtues, and role within the clan. When a parent dies, Ashton Verdery, a Pennsylvania State University sociologist, told me, many people bond with their cousins, who just get it in a way others don’t.”

I do know that many people don’t have this kind of relationship with their cousins, nor do they desire one. Quite the contrary. This is the wonderful thing about life and relationships – we are all different. And there is no path or formula. We make our own path by walking and by paying attention to our own experiences and what works best for us.

Sometimes, we adopt each other into the role of family member – this happens here, too. Cousins of the heart.

I do wonder what makes up your continuity of summertime memories? Maybe it isn’t cousins but a place, or a food, or an activity. Whatever it is, I hope you get to reclaim it this summer and fully throw yourself into it. “Sing” while there’s voice left.

Notes

1) You can tell that I am moodling away, happily enjoying my family and these special days in the Maritimes. Today we are off on an adventure to Shediac, a seaside town I haven’t yet visited- a full tank of gas and lots of good cheer will get us all there. Lobster rolls for an early supper. (I’m back and it was a great outing.)

2)Troubles do not stop because it is summer. People I know are going through great difficulties, and I send encouraging words to remind them and us that we can manage the difficulties with the help of each other. But we need to ask.

3) May you all have a lovely summer week with people you love, wherever you find yourself.  Beauty and friendship can be found in our own backyards. Many thanks for reading this blog, and may you enjoy sunny days and cool breezes.  As always,  Trudy

PS The flicker is from Vancouver, thanks to Rob and the other two from here.