Inertia – Restfulness – and Other Things
I have been thinking about beginnings, strivings, doing my part, inertia and restfulness. All because I have “begun” to swim again. Swimming is something that suits me, and apparently, it is good for arthritis. However, the efficient part of my nature finds it hard to reconcile 15 minutes of laps (my beginning practice) with 90 minutes of time door to door.
I was skeptical last week when I arrived at the edge of the pool, yet as soon as I slipped into the water, I swear my whole body smiled with thanks. I did this twice last week, which is my initial plan for the first month, aiming to build toward swimming three times a week for 25 minutes each session (and will adapt as needed).
And the question is, what is worth my time?
I do not buy the popular notion that whatever age you are – say 79 -that this is now the new 59. It isn’t true. (I am sure there are exceptions) In the majority of cases, no matter how active, engaged, and alive you are, your body does know the difference between 59 and 79. And honestly, we are lucky to keep having these birthdays. I want to be considerate of this body that has been carrying me around all these years, by doing my part and not expecting it to act 20 years younger.
Consequently, I have come to see that my bodymind does need recovery time and that it is no longer a good idea to pack my calendar and to keep striving for more steps and laps as though that is the most important thing. Right now, a short swim twice a week is just right. And it is definitely worth my time.
I hope you don’t get me wrong, as I am very much a proponent of resisting “ageism” and of moving our bodies, but “not to failure.” And not to injury. I want to do my part, and I also want to be clear about the difference between inertia and restfulness. I’ve sometimes blamed inertia (the classic stuck-on-the-couch feeling) for my lapses, but restfulness is a healthy necessity. Learning my body’s cues as to when it needs a twenty-minute nap is new territory for me. But I am eager to learn, since when I do listen, it makes a remarkable difference to my energy and spirits.
A Better Reply
I loved how my friend Barbara responded when I once said to her – You look fabulous. No one would guess you are 77. She said, “Trudy, this is what 77 looks like now.” I love this angle of view. Why not acknowledge the wonder of the age we are, rather than thinking 55 is so much better?
We don’t want to put our lives on hold. As we live longer, we have amazing opportunities and time to explore and learn, and care for our loved ones and ourselves. Sometimes we need a push or a pull to get out the door, but we also need the art of restfulness: taking time to enjoy beauty around us, in nature, art, and people.
Perhaps retire striving and take up the gentle art of doing what brings us joy and meaning, including swimming a few laps.
May I go further and suggest we change our counterfactuals and stop comparing ourselves to what we used to do, and better enjoy who we are now and what we can do? It will be different for each of us.
Notes
1)The banner photo is from Rob. What a carpet of tiny, colourful Japanese maple leaves, adorning the ground in Vancouver. The rustic bird house is from Gabriola Island.
2) We know intrinsically and through research that as we age and or recover from illness, we need reasons to get up in the morning, and it is essential to keep active. My Aunt Ruth, at 101, states it clearly: “If you are alive, act alive.” And let’s remember that to “act alive” is not to compare ourselves to the outliers running marathons at 96 or doing cardiac surgery at 90. Unnecessary comparisons waste precious energy. Focus on your own life; notice what is helpful and what you love—and do that.
3) Today I had a special lab tech who examined my arm for a minute, looking for a good vein. But instead of attempting to find a vein, through two or three tries, he looked up at me and said, “Please excuse me, I’m going to get Mandy.”
Mandy is “the one.” The one who exists in every lab who knows exactly what to do with tiny rolly veins. She checks out my arm and gets the “butterfly,” and in one quick jab, where I didn’t even see the vein, she was successful. And the beautiful bonus – she explained that going forward, I should always call in to see if she is working that day and ask for her when I arrive. A big shout-out to the professional tech who generously asked Mandy to take care of me.
4) I am loving this season. It seems to me there is one magnificent day after another, if you ignore the rainy cold of today.-)) Last night, the majestic Beaver Moon and today, even with the wind and the rain, there are still plentiful leaves and splendid colour on the neighbourhood trees. Dahlias of many colours are still in bloom in my family’s backyard. A season of surprises and meaningful gifts of all kinds, like the young chemistry prof I met yesterday, who started a conversation over the book I was reading in a coffee shop, and ended by our sharing contact info. Delightful.
5) Thank you, dear readers, for keeping me company. I appreciate you with gratitude and all my best wishes, Trudy
Trudy,
First..I felt so affirmed to read that 59 and 79 are different! Yaaah.
W
I have been so influenced by the messages I get via advertising and media that I think when I get a sore knee or hip that I’m doing something wrong…NO…I am aging and my body is part of nature that reminds of that! My job is to learn Nature’s signals,,respect them and behave appropriately!
Oh I love your note dear Lynn. Those messages are insidious. And we need to
Keep reminding ourselves that living a long time is not an illness that needs to be cured.
Thank you! And now to sleep. 😊
Oh Trudy, another thoughtful reminder on how to approach each new day. Thank you. Now a simple request…….. what is that book you were reading that has spurred a new contact? Hugs. Purdy 😀
Ah ha! I knew someone would ask for that and not surprised that it’s you Purdy. :-)) I can’t recommend it yet because I am just a few chapters in but I can recommend the author. I have read a few of his books and enjoyed them. They make you think. Alan Lightman is an astrophysicist at MIT and this latest book is called The Shape of Wonder – How Scientists Think, Work, and Live.Big hugs back to you, Trudy
Dear Trudy,
I’ve been struggling to reconcile my age (71) with developing meaning, purpose, hobbies, fitness, diet, etc. I feel as if I’m just filling time… thank you for your paradigm shift re: age and activity. I’m going to needlepoint ” If you’re alive, act alive.”
Blessings to you.
Wendy
Wendy…what a lovely response. I will let my Aunt know about your plan. She will shortly forget but for that moment she will love it. How great that you can do needlepoint. If you do get this done please send me a photo.Blessings back to you, Trudy
I love how how continue to remind us of ways to ‘act alive’! Kudos to you for your swimming. I’ve just taken up some modest weight training. We’re never too old to try something new 🙂
Weight training is on my list. I suspect carrying two bags of groceries is a form of it.I hope to do a little more and I send you good wishes for your efforts.Thank you dear Janice. Warmly, Trudy
Thank you for reminding me that my 80’s are not the new 60’s. I practice Tai Chi and the slow movements create calmness and exercise. Tai chi is meditation in movement connecting me with nature. I no longer injure myself at the gym. For me, listening to my body continues to be a life long lesson. Trudy, Keep swimming!
Hi Darby: I was just thinking about you and here you are. Thanks for your note and I will keep swimming. As always, a pleasure. Warmly, Trudy