Always the Right Time to Appreciate
As a modern heir to two sets of ancestors – Canadian and American – I have always rather enjoyed the two months of Thanksgiving. In my family, we celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving in October, but I feel close to the holiday in the US because of my American relatives and friends. And besides, it gives me an excuse to use this photo, which I found a few years ago on Unsplash – credit due to Donald-Giannatti.
The photo represents the words of Rabbi Schacter, Brother David Steindahl Rast and others who insist that having a sense of appreciation and gratitude is what brings happiness and contentment, not the other way around. Happiness is not a prerequisite for appreciation.
“According to the Mayo Clinic, expressing gratitude is associated with a host of mental and physical benefits. Studies have shown that feeling thankful can improve sleep, mood and immunity. Gratitude can decrease depression, anxiety, difficulties with chronic pain and risk of disease.
If a pill that could do this, everyone would be taking it. Your brain is designed to problem-solve rather than appreciate. You often must override this design to reap the benefits of gratitude.
Our lives are full of reasons to feel thankful. Sometimes we need to remember to notice them.”
Hence, the common recommendation is to write things down to improve our attention skills.
MIT has a short video – watch here– on the science and benefits of gratefulness. The acronym they use is GLAD
GLAD
G something you are grateful for
L something you learned this week
A something you accomplished this week
D something that delighted you this week
Can we be grateful for everything? Absolutely not. Brother David Steindahl Rast writes,” No, not for everything that’s given to you can you be grateful. You can’t be grateful for war in a given situation, or violence, or sickness, things like that. So the key, when people ask, “Can you be grateful for everything?” — no, not for everything, but in every moment.
None of us can escape the vicissitudes of life – we all get old, if we live long enough, we will all deal with illness, loss, disappointment, and eventually we will all die. If that were all there was, our prospects would be gloomy. However, there is an entire wondrous world out there that offers up moments of beauty, friendship, love, family, adventures, laughter, resilience, purpose and meaning.
Our skills of noticing the moments make the difference between being a victim of circumstance and having a victim mentality. And this, in turn, makes the difference in how much we suffer. At least this is my experience.
It’s all a Blessing
Rabbi Zalman Schachter, wrote the book, From Age-ing to Sage-ing, amongst many others. Several of us became interested in his warm and enlivening concepts, to turn ageing into a meaningful, lively and joyful time of life while passing on wisdom to the younger generation. This is one of his blessings that I love.
It’s All a Blessing
“Whether the golden sun warms you to the core or the bitter cold wind stings your face, it is all a blessing. Whether you are surrounded by pleasure or immersed in toil and strife, every moment is a thing that carries boundless beauty and possibility.
Take each moment as it comes to you and give your best to it. Resenting the pain will only make it more painful, and hoarding the pleasure will only prevent you from experiencing its joy.
Give your attention and your energy to where you are. For when you truly appreciate the value of where you are and what you have, it opens you up to a world of possibilities.
Move beyond your own arbitrary judgments, and things that were once difficult and intolerable can become far easier to bear. Consider that much of what makes something difficult is the way you think and feel about it.
Rather than seeing yourself as enduring something unpleasant, see yourself as contributing your very best to a challenging and energizing situation. Rather than waiting for something better to come along, take the initiative and find a way to make something better actually happen.
Every moment is a truly unique and valuable blessing when you see it as such.”
Life’s moments make up an entire life. Labels and grand proclamations are not realistic. We are sometimes this and sometimes that. However, increasing our moments where we notice what else is true, co-existing side by side with what is difficult, changes lives.
May we all give it a try, looking at what is also going right, and maybe who taught us to read – that’s a lifetime of thankfulness. Plus, the moments when we were helped when everything seemed to be going downhill. Try See as the ancient Hawaiians said. Try something, and see what happens. Let’s be our own cultural anthropologists and trust our own direct experience.
NOTES
- Happy Thanksgiving to our American friends and family.
- The photo is one I took in Japan last fall, watching the preparations for a rice harvest celebration.
- I have climbed out of my November funk by cleaning kitchen cupboards with my son-in-law, going to see the Norwegian award-winning foreign film, Sentimental Value, attending my wonderful book club and visiting with a friend. And in case you forget, chauffeuring my grandkids, spending time with my family and facilitating my webinars at Wellspring every Friday. Oh yes, and sleeping in flannelette cozy sheets. We all get to find what we like and do more of it.
- So many thanks for stopping by here. I appreciate every one of you from the bottom of my heart. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need an ear – gratis, of course. Take heart and be bold and brave. Warmest wishes, Trudy
Thank you for these thoughtful reminders. We are in Japan and are so aware of the attention to detail and care for everyday things. Trudy, your blogs brighten my day.
Hugsxxx
Thank you for your lovely note dear Sheila. As you indicated, Japan epitomizes attention to detail and a profound sense of appreciation for everything. I have been following your travelogue and this trip has been outstanding from my armchair viewpoint. Continued good wishes for safe travels and wonderful experiences. Hugs back to you, Trudy
Trudy
This really spoke to me. I have been reflecting on radical gratitude and realizing somewhere along my path it has dissolved into the mist. Thanks for the reminder and reinforcement. 💕
What a lovely note dear Sandi. It happens to us all. So easy to take things for granted. This is one of the reasons why I write these blogs, to remind myself. Thanks for reading them. Warmly, Trudy
Love your appreciation for flannel sheets. Hope you are well.
Oh Sue, my flannel sheets are a must. This is how I stay cozy and warm in the winter months. I have a sense that you also appreciate them. Thank you for your note and stay warm, Trudy
Trudy, as usual, you have brightened my day and lifted my spirits. I have a dear friend who is going through many struggles right now and I’m going to share this blog with her. It might help her to change her perspective on things. Thank you so much.
Hi dear Terri: Thanks for your kind note. It is a gift to me when something I write is helpful. I appreciate you letting me know. Take good care and best wishes for you and yours and for your friend. Warmly, Trudy
Flannel sheets and my heated mattress cover make these cold nights actually cozy. Thank you for the reminder that “Every moment is a truly unique and valuable blessing when you see it as such.” Too easy to forget that and so important to remember. Thanksgiving blessings every day Trudy!
Ah! I am not surprised that you like flannel sheets too, dear Janice. Moment by moment we make our way…like Anne Lamott’s “bird by bird.”I LOVED your poem yesterday – besides the gift of a new poem the sentiments expressed were heart warming and familiar. Thank you a hundred times for your very own poetry pharmacy.Your medicine heals and the only side effects are love, courage and joy. As always,Trudy
You are so generous and kind dear Trudy. Not surprised you relate to the Night Walk poem – I can see you in that role 🙂 xoxo
Thank you dear Janice!
Thank you, Trudy for the reminders about gratitude. I am grateful you share your thoughts, quotes, and photos.
Blessings,
Wendy
Hi dear Wendy: Much gratitude to you for taking time to read my blog. A warm bow, Trudy
Yeah to flannellet sheets and yes live in gratitude,than one is happy and can feel the joy of just being.
You have said it perfectly and warmly dear Jean.